GLOG class: The Sauna Demon

Another GLOG class, yes. I'm cleaning out drafts, alright. I swear, it's the last one. Man, these things are like biscuits.

Art by Rachel Suggs

Being a wizard is hard work. Especially when you have to be running around with this bunch of ruffians adventurers who think a bath is something you can either eat or kill, maybe both. Luckily you know better. In Wizard City, if there's one public matter that is taken very seriously, it is the sauna. Wizard brains are contstantly being whipped with live arcane electrical wires. They need to blow off steam (and residual Thaum) regularly.

It was brought along by that curious bunch (I know, rich coming from wizards) from up north, then some people from the east came and said they came up with them first, but not before some people from the south said it had always been theirs, and so on. The kind of sauna you go to is an important cultural statement in Wizard City. It all started with this wizard, oh what was his name, who plopped a whole sauna down in Cranberry Street so he could bathe, while passing through for only a day and shouting "Perkele!" a lot. He left the next day claiming Wizard City was a glorified man cave.

The Sauna Demon is not necessarily hideous or demonic in form, nor are they malicious. The name was chosen by wizards because these sauna-keepers are a bit witch-like in nature. They don't take wizards very seriously, and belly-laugh their way through the scholarly arcane traditions. This means, as far as wizards are concerned, that they're certainly not sauna wizards. Are they sauna witches, then? No! No no no, we can't have that, we can't have witches in Wizard City. So what are they?

Demons? Yes. Demons is good. That shows that we don't like them, but it's very serious business not liking them, since they're demons. Which we summon, by the way. To do our bidding. Take that, demons.

Most Sauna Demons have a plain human appearance, but they do tend to be a bit supernaturally shameless, hairy, and irreverent by demeanour. This class should definitely (not) be multiclassed with my GLOG wizard, the Radiomancer.

Art by Armand Serrano

GLOG: THE SAUNA DEMON

Starting items: Pail and bath brush.

A: The Sauna, +1 Con, +2 Save, +1 HD, Nikolas

B: Winter Coat, +1 Con, +1 Wis, +1 HD

C: Blow Off Steam, Warm Welcome, +1 Cha, +1 HD

D: Spirit Form, +2 Wis, +1 HD

THE SAUNA: You can open any door and find a small sauna interior instead of what is normally behind it. It fits four people comfortably, and up to seven people uncomfortably. While you or anyone else is inside, the room stays connected to that door. The door can be locked from the inside, but it is a lock easily breakable with brute strength. You cannot take anything that belongs in the room outside of it: it disappears from your hand and reappears in its normal place. If the walls of the sauna are broken, thick steam blows everyone out and shuts the door, disappearing. You cannot summon the room again if this happens, until you get a magical sauna repair person to put it back in order.

NIKOLAS: Wherever it is you came from, you brought him with you. Or rather, he followed you behind the trees while you weren't looking. Nikolas appears when you roll a critical failure (natural 1 on d20), and he has a chance to show up in particularly cold areas as well. He will steal one of your templates (you can save to spot him and fend him off with your brush). You then have to chase him down to get it back. Nikolas is able to use the abilities of the template he has stolen. If Nikolas steals template A, which he himself is on, he'll forget who you are and it'll be easier to catch him. He stops appearing at critical failures until you have template A back. You can't level up while one of your templates is missing. If he appears again before you've gotten your template back, you suffer the following effect (like Wizard Dooms):

1. When next you open any sauna or bathing room, Nikolas is there with a wood axe and wearing only a bath towel. He'll try to kill you.
2. Nikolas is back. He wants blood. He appears, stronger than before, and comes to butcher you.
3. Nikolas manages to get the drop on you while you're bathing and cuts your head off. You're dead. Nikolas is satisfied and disappears with a cold winter wind.

You can prevent Nikolas from appearing by leaving out an offering of Kossu or Vodka and roast sausages for Nikolas. The plate and bottle are emptied messily while you aren't looking. This protects you for 3 days. Any other meal and alcohol combination will protect you for 1 day.

WINTER COAT: You have a hefty, well-insulating layer of fat and cheery disregard for the winter gods. You take only half damage from frost attacks, and save twice against other cold-related effects, taking the better result. If you can already save to take half damage, you save to take no damage instead. Furthermore, you can turn this template into a warm coat and give it to someone else, temporarily losing it yourself. They must return it to you before sundown, otherwise the template is permanently transferred to them, and you lose this part of your power. If you have template D, you can regain this template by turning into a bear and eating the one who possesses it.

BLOW OFF STEAM: When you bathe or take a sauna, your mind is at ease. Remove negative mind-affecting effects from yourself. Others can retry their save. Additionally, if wizards or other people affected by non-permanent magical mutations bathe in your sauna, the mutation disappears.

WARM WELCOME: You have free entry to any bathhouse or sauna: even those who do not want to let you in must do so out of courtesy. You can also ask of anyone to use their bathing facilities, to the same effect. If anyone still refuses, their bath(house) is cursed. However, if they allow you to use it but only on a certain condition, that does not trigger this effect: they can effectively refuse you entry by allowing you to use it if you meet a condition which is impossible to meet. Only folkwise people know this loophole. 

You can give someone a piece of paper with your name and signature on to let them speak with your blessing: you pass this ability on to them for a day. At sundown the paper shrivels. You can only pass this ability to one person at a time, but you can still use the ability in the meantime.

SPIRIT FORM: Being a sort of natural spirit, you can occasionally change your form. For a total of ten minutes per day, while you are in an area that is not under distinct magical influence of an outside force, you can change into various natural forms:

• An animal between the sizes of a squirrel and a moose. If you eat food that has touched human hands you must turn back.
• A rock roughly equal to your size, or a small tree. You are immobile in this form. If you are completely put in shadow, you must turn back.
• A gust of wind. When taking this form you must move constantly. If you are caught in a bedsheet, you must turn back.
• A small pond (up to five feet across). You are immobile in this form. If someone throws rubbish into you, you must turn back.

If you are forced to turn back rather than do so of your own accord, you cannot change form again for that day. A druid, witch or shaman (not a wizard or sorcerer) can always tell you are not a regular natural feature when in changed form, and may command you to turn back: you must then choose to comply, or save to resist. If you fail the save, you are forced to turn back regardless.

Art by Vikki Truver