It is what it says on the can. A while ago I made the Chopwood Opera (or CHOPOP) combat rules. Now what are combat rules without stuff you can fight? An empty bowl, that's what. So get ready because soup's on, baby.
|Art by Stepan Alekseev|
A goblin is a kind of big corpse maggot that likes wearing tracksuits and snorting car exhaust. They have chalice- or bottle-shaped heads and big ears. A goblin's brain is only semisolid. Dried goblin heads are the compostable equivalent of plastic beer cups.
Head (L*), Body (L)
Fight Die 1d4
Horrible Crawling: 2 in 6, all parts, 2 hits.
- When multiple goblins roll Fight Dice, the lowest rolls take the value of the second-lowest (if one goblin rolls 3, one 2, and two roll 1, the two rolling one also get 2)
- Decapitating a Goblin is lethal only half of the time (flip a coin). A living goblin body can attach a new head of any species. If you have a cool head you are usually the boss goblin.
- Anti-Spill Cap: 2 in 6, head, 3 hits.
- Four-Dimensional Hiccup: 1 in 6, all parts, 4 hits.
- Wrapped in Bike Chains: 2 in 6, body, 2 hits.
- Seafood Restaurant Internship: 1 in 6, body, 1 hit.
- Fake Head and Trenchcoat: 5 in 6, head, 1 hit.
- Looks Like It'll Blow Up: 3 in 6, head, 1 hit.
- You can only leave combat with a labyrinth when you land a hit on its entrance or its exit.
- A labyrinth attacks all enemies in combat at once, simultaneously.
- Time Fuckery: 3 in 6, entrance and exit, 3 hits.
- Sprawling Size: 1 in 6, entrance and exit, 4 hits.
- Fata Morgana: 5 in 6, exit, 1 hit.
- Quicksand: 2 in 6, entrance and exit, 2 hits.
- Plot-Relevant Mural: 4 in 6, exit, 1 hit.
- Another, Smaller Labyrinth: 1 in 6, exit, 1 hit.
|Art by Jonas de Ro|
- The Elephant Spider Death Hornet ignores all armour based on fear.
- Shifting Camouflage: 4 in 6, all parts, 2 hits.
- A Million Eggs: 2 in 6, abdomen and thorax, 4 hits.
- Airborne Paralytic Poison: 1 in 6, all parts, 3 hits.
- Mane of Porcupine Spikes: 3 in 6, head, 3 hits.
- Web-Filled Lair: 2 in 6, all parts, 4 hits.
- Hostage: 6 in 6, head and thorax, 1 hit.
|Art by Jeff Easley|
- When a car dies from any other reason than its driver part being destroyed, the driver has a 1 in 2 chance (flip a coin) to escape the wreck and come after you while being pissed about the car you just totalled.
- If the car is from the '80s or has a flame decal, it has a d10 fight die instead of d8.
- Derby Helmet: 4 in 6, driver, 2 hits.
- Distracting Airbrushed Babe: 2 in 6, engine hood, 1 hit.
- Snow Tires: 3 in 6, wheels, 4 hits.
- Rear View Mirror: 1 in 6, driver, 1 hit.
- Dude, That's My Dad's Car: 2 in 6, all parts, 1 hit.
- NANI?! KANSEI DORIFTO?!: 5 in 6, all parts, 3 hits.
- Every time the Teloform Hydra takes a wound, it produces another head, up to three heads.
- If a Teloform Hydra head is destroyed, either its legs or arms part transforms into another head.
- A Teloform Hydra adds 2 to the size of its fight die for every head it possesses.
- Depleted Uranium Plating: 5 in 6, torso, 4 hits.
- Absolute Terror: 2 in 6, all parts, 4 hits.
- Berserk Nanomachines: 3 in 6, all parts, 3 hits.
- The Lights Are Flickering: 1 in 6, all parts except head(s), 4 hits.
- Red Flashbang: 5 in 6, all parts, 1 hit.
- Tumorous Regeneration: 2 in 6, all parts except head(s), 2 hits.
- As long as a Sphinx' riddle part is not destroyed, her other parts cannot be wounded.
- Ptolemaean Plate: 4 in 6, human half, 3 hits.
- Bait Answers: 3 in 6, riddle, 1 hit.
- Being of Mass Encryption: 3 in 6, all parts, 4 hits.
- Chaos Mathematics: 5 in 6, riddle, 2 hits.
- Too Many Variables: 3 in 6, riddle, 2 hits.
- Cute Glasses: 1 in 6, human half, 1 hits.
|Art by Jesse Balmer|
- When a part of the skeletons is destroyed, reduce their fight die size by 2.
- The first time the skeleton mob part takes a wound, the skeletons gain a new part called "Boss Skeleton (L)" and increase their fight die size by 4.
- Get Back Here!: 3 in 6, pesky archers, 3 hits.
- Treacherous Catacombs: 1 in 6, all parts, 4 hits.
- They Reassemble: 2 in 6, skeleton mob, 4 hits.
- Power Word Fuck You: 5 in 6, boss skeleton, 2 hits.
- More Of These Fuckers, 6 in 6, pesky archers, 1 hit.
- Lich Hexes: 2 in 6, boss skeleton, 2 hits.
- In the fight against the Mystery Killer, instead of your normal body parts, your parts are the other key characters in the mystery (which can only suffer one wound before being destroyed) and yourself. You are your lethal part and can suffer 2 wounds. You still die (are dismissed and lost to history) if you suffer more than 3 wounds.
- Planted Evidence: 2 in 6, crime scene, 1 hit.
- A Devious Bunch: 1 in 6, suspects, 2 hits.
- Frustration: 3 in 6, suspects, 1 hit.
- Shadowy Chase: 4 in 6, true identity, 2 hits.
- My Own Short-Sightedness!: 1 in 6, all parts, 1 hit.
- One Last Trick: 3 in 6, true identity, 1 hit.