Thursday, December 31, 2020

GLOG class: Accidental Splatter Killer

I know, I know. It's a GLOG class. There are hundreds of those. No, literally, there are. I'm not sure whether there's much point in making new ones when I feel like it's more of a creative exercise than a real, useful piece of game resource. However, it's fun, and not too hard. You can probably adapt it to other stuff too. So here's this ridiculous thing.

You're a monster. You eviscerate those who threaten you without hesitation and with extreme brutality. But worst of don't know how it keeps happening! Oh god, you're a nervous wreck, a teary-eyed worrywart. You were about to get a raise, and that was your new top and now it's covered in blood and oh god, oh god, will it ever stop?!

You're an industrial strength transmitter of splatter film bad luck. Somehow, whoever really stresses you out can expect an immediate and gruesome fate, which honestly is only tangentially related to you at best. It's a curse. You're sure it's a curse. What kind of horrible demon would do this to you?

Art by 룽텐 (Chainsaw Man fan art)


A: Save* +2, Attack -4, StressSPLATTER

B: Save* +1, Stealth +1, The Knife, +1 HD, -1 stress limit, -1 SPLATTER stress requirement.

C: Save* +2, Stealth +2, Cursed Clumsy, Splatterbrain, -2 stress limit, -1 SPLATTER stress requirement.

D: Choose one: FREEDOM or LOVE. +1 HD. Attack +6. Stealth -4.

*= this save bonus is negated if what you save against appears appealing and relaxing. Death is not relaxing to you, it scares the hell out of you. Like most things do.

Stress: Every time you are attacked, you fail a save, something dies within 10 feet of you, or you encounter something really fucked up, you gain a stress die. You can get rid of stress dice by drinking, smoking, getting high, or being loved. Every stress die you have reduces your Charisma and Dexterity by 1 because you are a mess. You start with 4 stress dice. A stress die is a d4.

Once you have 8 stress dice, save against death (wish) for every additional one you gain. If you ever hit 16 stress without dying, you instantly gain template D.

SPLATTER: There's a horrible curse on you that makes your constant state of nervous breakdown have eviscerating consequences. The higher your number of stress dice, the more devastating the SPLATTERs you can cause. Using a SPLATTER gives you one extra stress die. You can only use SPLATTERs on creatures with HD up to one higher than your own, and creatures with that one higher HD can save vs death to take [roll stress dice necessary to unlock SPLATTER] damage instead of being killed by a lethal splatter. Weak enemies may need to make a morale check if they witness a SPLATTER (GM's discretion). You can use splatters on enemies in a range of 10 feet times your current number of stress dice.

  • Skewer: target is gored by one or multiple sharp objects, blood spurts everywhere. Unlocks at 3 stress.
  • Deface: target's face is ripped off, their guts hang out, or they otherwise suffer a borderline-lethal but extremely painful and hideous injury. Unlocks at 3 stress.
  • Dismember: target loses 1d4 limbs and takes the stress die damage for each limb lost. Unlocks at 3 stress.
  • Decapitate: target is beheaded or has their head otherwise removed/destroyed. Always explode it if possible. Unlocks at 4 stress.
  • Rip: target is ripped, cut or otherwise separated into 1d4 pieces. Unlocked at 4 stress.
  • Pulp: target is smashed into a paste or exploded. Unlocked at 6 stress
SPLATTERs are freak accidents. They get uncannier when there seems no way in hell they could happen. Because they do happen.

Art by 룽텐 (Chainsaw Man fan art)

The Knife: You always end up with a knife in your pockets. So long as you have any way to conceal one, you are always carrying a knife, no matter how hard you try to get rid of it. It deals 1 damage when you use it intentionally against someone, but it deals damage equal to rolling all your current stress dice when it accidentally hurts someone. This knife cannot be used to cause you harm and will inflict a SPLATTER onto anyone who tries to force it to.

Cursed Clumsy: Whenever you roll a critical failure (e.g. natural 1 on d20) on any roll and your have more than 4 stress dice, a random SPLATTER is inflicted on a random valid target nearby. If the target is friendly, it can make a save vs death if the splatter is lethal to take the SPLATTER's damage instead. If you have 4 or fewer stress dice, gain a stress die.

Splatterbrain: Instead of getting a mishap on doubles, wizards casting a spell get a mishap if they roll a 1 on any MD if you are also in the range of the spell. If they do roll doubles, they suffer a Doom, and if they roll triples, they immediately suffer their third Doom.

Art by Choo
When you gain the 4th template, template D, you break. All of this blood and horror and death and murder and misfortune and stress explodes your mind. So what do you shout at the heart of the world?

FREEDOM: You learn the way to break your curse. This might involve killing some horrible evil spirit who presides over your soul on a mountain, performing a ritual in a shrine you have to assemble from human bones, or replacing literally all of your blood with the blood of your long lost sibling. Something crazy like that. The sheer insult of the blood-soaked road you have to crawl over fills you with an insane stress-energy panicked fury. You become immortal until you break your curse (you can still be hurt and incapacitated). The restriction on THE KNIFE is broken: it now always deals its 'accidental damage'. Your stress limit to start death saves is raised to 16. When you break your curse, you lose all your templates for this class and can never gain them again.

LOVE: You learn to love it. This is the only thing that seems to love you back anway. You snog the skull of death. Your panic becomes bloodlust. So that's how it is. You really are a monster. Your stress mechanic is destroyed. It's replaced by bloodlust, which builds up under the same conditions, but debuffs your Wisdom and Intelligence instead of Dexterity and Charisma. You gain bloodlust dice by using SPLATTERs, and lose one when a combat ends, when a day goes by without killing anybody, or when you are forced to take an explicitly non-violent solution. Instead of saving against death when you exceed a number of stress dice, you now do this when you drop below 4 bloodlust dice. Every day, this bottom limit goes up by 1. When you have so many bloodlust dice your INT or WIS hits zero, your character goes feral. You have to keep going, because once you stop, and you actually come to your senses, it will annihilate you. But, until then, it's a party.


  1. I'm generally not that into GLOG, but as you say, these GLOG classes can be interesting creative exercises. This is a cool concept and not one I think I've seen before, and it uses GLOGness to do stuff you couldn't necessarily as easily do in another OSR system. This is a GLOG class done right.

  2. I feel like this is a reference to a whole lot of cultural stuff that I don't understand at all, and I can see it all whizzing by above my head. It's very shiny though! I'm itching to try and distill it down into a single-template thingy for use in a Modern Horror GLOG

  3. GOD this class is perfect. Beyond the obvious pop culture influences it's just wicked smart and sounds really fun to play with. <3

    1. That's high praise. I did have a lot of fun making it, and with a template as simple as a GLOG class, the real trick is to come up with something that's a bit wilder than the usual. I like the idea of a skill giving you MORE of its required resource when you use it, while also bringing you closer to death. Are you on the OSR discord by any chance? These comments are a bit crude to have discussions in.